Word Problems Are Trash

Do you like word problems?

In all of my test taking experiences I have haaaated word problems with the passion of Black Twitter.

Whoever writes word problems always puts stupid, extraneous information in them to distract you, too.

I’d be in the testing room, like: “Excuse me exam proctor person, I think I was given the wrong test. Is this a math exam or a psychological fitness exam? Damn!”

The question would be like:

Jack is a new employee at ACME Company, and needs to find a seat. There are 1,234,567 available seats at ACME Company. Jack only needs one seat. Jack is 5’11’’ and wears men’s Uggs even in the summer months. Jack is a very affable guy. He lives alone, but sometimes rents out his second bedroom on AirBnB to be social. Jack also likes cats. Jack only needs one seat. How many seats does jack need from the working hours of 0900-1700? Last night, Jack watched the final season of Orange Is The New Black on Netflix. Jack cried when the screen faded to black. Jack is an emotional guy. Jack is happy to be an employee of ACME Corporation. Jack only needs one seat. Lately, Jack has been going to medical appointments on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 1100-1200, lunch at 12:30, and then making a brief stop by his house to walk his cat, Heathcliff before returning to work. Jack’s boss got tired of Jack missing so much time at work. Jack was let go. Jack needs zero seats. How many seats does Jack need?

If you didn’t read until the end of the paragraph, you likely would have answered one seat.

Wrong!

Jack is unemployed!

Pissssssssssssssss!

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