I'd Rather Be Real Than Right

"The goal of an authentic discussion is to explore the subject, not to be right." - Matthew Kelly

I really like this quote. It’s one that I refer back to when I need to ground myself in the truth that I do not have all of the answers and neither does anyone else.

There are times when we are, in fact, right but asserting our “rightness” or righteousness at the moment does more harm than good to those in our company and in our earshot.

Wanting to be right stymies our learning. It closes all entry points of our heart and mind because, after all, we have everything figured out, right?  

But isn’t “right” simply a self-created value or a perspective maybe not in all cases, but most? History is said to be right, but only the ones that live to write it create it. So how is that an accurate account or the only account worth knowing if only one perspective was recorded?

Let’s look at it this way. If two people are sitting at a table at opposite ends of each other looking at an object and are asked to describe what they see, one would say one thing and the other would say another. Does it make either of them right or wrong? Or is it that they are simply sharing their perspective or vantage point of the reality in from of them? 

The vociferous tug of war between right and wrong is nothing new, but it seems to be growing at a feverish pitch, and I don’t know if it’s because of the media’s constant coverage of it or if it’s actually true. 

Motivation influencer Seth Godin said,

“The media isn’t the one that needs a narrative… we do. We need to make sense of what’s around us, not just the true things that really happened, but the fictional ones that we know didn’t. All this myth making reminds us just how strongly wired we are to believe in things that both make sense and feel right. They feel right because of who told us, and when. Culture creates reality.”

The onus is on us to unlearn bullsh*t and individually create and live out our own reality. I’m sorry (no, I’m not), but everything can’t and shouldn’t be done for the culture. I mean, that’s not how I live my life anyway because in the end, I don’t want to be right as much as I want to be real.