36

Where I am right now is where I have chosen in consciousness or unconsciousness to be. It’s where I have agreed to be whether I realize it or not. In this case, I realize it.

Every second. Every minute. Every hour. Every day. I have made choices that coalesced into agreements. Agreements have affected the trajectory of my evolution and while it’s easy for my personality to unwittingly assign the lesson-limiting values of “good” and “bad” to my experiences, I now refrain from doing so because don’t believe in those realities anymore. What I do believe, though, is that my soul (the eternal consciousness that lives within me and is always connected to God) manifests itself in various ways in my life in order to awaken me (the human named Chris) to full awareness of who I am and why I am here. To be “woke”, if you will. Not in the hashtag, monkey-see-monkey-do sort of way, either, but in the authentic, personal, can’t-nobody-tell-me-who-I-am-because-I-know-who-I-am kind of way.

On Saturday, I turn 36. Now, to me, I don’t look or necessarily even feel thirty-six. I’ve had people tell me that they assumed I was in my early 30s, though. Thanks, but nah. I earned this status and I am officially grown and sexy. At any rate, let’s stay focused here. I’ve been enrolled in this Earth school for thirty-six years, man. If it were at a traditional institution of higher education, 3.5 decades of education would be some unconscionable shit. I doubt I would have made it past registration.

Yet here I am and I have to say, right now, I’m in the best shape of myself. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally.

To get to this point, I had to voluntarily undergo thousands of hours of personal development over the years. The past year stands out as one of the most seminal periods in my life. It was when I committed myself to change.

I’ve read a lot of books, I’ve listened to numerous audio books, watched legions of videos, suffered through countless seminars and trainings, but you know what was the linchpin in my evolution thus far? Choice.

I chose to invest in myself and in doing so attuned myself to the frequency of self-love. I deleted the default settings and assigned my own values. I made an agreement with myself that I will work harder on myself that I do on my job. I affirmed that everyday I live my dream and that all things work in concert for my intentional good. I started to believe in my own innate talents and abilities and expose them to the world in order to reinvest what was invested in me.

Has it been easy? No, but it has been simple. Am I scared? Often, but I’m going to speak even if my voice shakes. I am in no way perfect, either. I constantly make mistakes. At no time in my journey do I pursue perfection, only measurable progression.

In the end, it all comes down to choice. I choose to die fulfilled. I choose to die empty. I always have a choice. I always have a say in the matter. I can always be and do whatever it is I want to do. So do you and so can you.