Sex (on the TV)

SMH. I don't know why, but Mad Cobra's 90s era hit "Flex (Time To Have Sex)" is on my mind. Y'all know the song I'm talkin' about. Damn. It's probably because I was catching up on Starz's "Power" and just so happened to see the beautiful Lala Anthony in a particular scene that I won't spoil for you in case you have yet to see the show. I mean, who knew? And what the hell was Carmelo thinking? Never go Eric Benet. Anyway, I digress.

I'm 35 going on 36 (shoutout to my fellow Leo's) and consider myself progressive, but lately I've been wondering: Is it just me or is TV programming saturated with sex? I'm talking Bounty paper towel saturated, too. The Quicker Picker-Upper. Yeah, that sh*t. It's as if we're fresh out of puberty and just discovered that our respective sexual equipment either gets hard or moist, but we don't know how to control it. I'm referencing contrasting orientations of sexuality, too, but particularly heterosexual and homosexual. Pick a popular post-teenage show on mainstream TV, cable, or Netflix and let me know if you don't find a theme of sex written in be it overt or covert. (If you need help, let me know.) The old adage "Stop acting like you've never had anything" comes to mind and while I imagine that the intent wasn't necessarily referencing relations, if the shoe fits, lace it up and walk it out.

I like sex like the next horny human citizen of Earth with a healthy libido, but damn, Gina. Maybe I'm just here for the cinematography, the plot, and the acting this time. LOL Maybe I'm just here to learn about the other things human beings are capable of doing. I'm tired of having to call my sponsor to hold me accountable. (I don't actually do that). And to my readers ready to pounce on me in the comments, yes, I am fully aware of the warnings that are displayed prior to a show airing, but let's be honest: They be lyin' and y'all know it. Back in the day "Rated R" was synonymous with "Y'all ain't watching this. Brush your teeth and go to bed." Today, though, "Rated PG-13" be on some Xvideos.com sh*t. I thought this was a wholesome movie. Ohhhh, my bad, you said hoe-some. But, wait, I mentioned movie ratings. What are some examples for TV? "Rated Mature"? "Brief nudity"? Yeah, aight.

TV sex is overly dramatic, too. I can't nor do I want to live up to its fantasy. I sure as hell don't shove everything off the dining room table or kitchen. I also don't smash at work. (Who does that?) I actually like my dining room table and the things on it. I paid for it five times over at Rent-A-Center. (I'm lyin') And the kitchen counter? Nah. I don't like my ass where my Keurig is. Sex at work ain't even a viable or intelligent option so I'm not even addressing that. And the aggression? Let's talk about that briefly. It seems to be a common theme that is overlooked. Now before y'all go and call me boring I'll have you know that I like respectful aggression. Hell, I like cussing in the bedroom. (Prophetess Juanita Bynum and her Bishop husband said it's alright. LOL) I like other things, too, but you can FOH with the Fifty Shades sh*t. I'm not tying anyone up and ain't nobody tyin' me up either. You can't even tie my shoes for me. You can also forget about me wearing one of those black leather masks with the red ball that I'm supposed to willingly gag on. I mean, what exactly are we doing here? You want me to do what? That's the type of sh*t that gets you off? Nope. My ancestors would not approve. Bye, Dominisha!

We gotta switch things up, man. We have to care about the images and subliminal messages that we see because contrary to popular belief they do matter. We have to be able to communicate without sexual innuendo being the secret weapon that wins hearts and minds. We are intoxicated with the physical body to a fault. Women (and men) are being objectified and women (and men) are ruining their minds, bodies, lives, relationships trying to maintain unrealistic expectations of beauty just to be liked, loved or feel good about themselves. Sadly, relationship and commitment phobia is popular and I'd be remiss if I didn't say that programming (helluva word by the way) that conveys fleeting visual and sexual pleasure being more appealing than the work required for long-term commitment with sustainable gains doesn't play a factor.

We have too much sex on the brain, but it's not too late; we can change. We can tell our inner Tommy to get a job and that his days of relentlessly trying get the draws are over.